Grace

Grace

Grace: 1. Appropriately, the free unmerited love and favor of God, the spring and source of all the benefits men receive from him. 2. Disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency.

A couple of months before I knew exactly when I would be heading out west, I received a necklace as a gift. The necklace was a simple gold chain with a gold plate with the word grace written on it.  It was dainty and not like anything I ever wore, but it quickly became my favorite necklace. I had not thought much about the word written on the charm. I thought I knew what grace was, and I was always ready and willing to receive it from God. 

When I arrived in Seattle last July and as I have been getting settled into my new normal. I have discovered the other side of grace. It is found in the second definition and where I  was struggling. I was not extending grace to myself. I discovered that I had placed expectations on myself that was all about who I wanted to be in my new environment. When I began to realize that moving across the country is hard, that starting over is exciting and hard all at the same time. Well, I had a lot of words for myself. I was not happy with myself, and the words swirling around in my heart and mind were not kind.  Have you ever stopped to listen to how you speak to yourself or about yourself? 

I do realize that I just asked each of you about talking to yourself. Haha, don't worry, we all do it, some out loud or most of us, in our minds. Take a minute to stop and listen to the thoughts you think of yourself when you make a mistake or don’t get something right the first time. Here I am in a new city, still on my journey, and I was cutting myself into pieces with my thoughts. Here is the thing, God is always extending his favor to us, but when our self-talk is toxic, how can we find ourselves at the Spring of Grace ready to receive? 

I began to find grace for myself as I got rid of the unhealthy idea of who I was supposed to be in a month.  I was not allowing myself to be in a new environment. Now let me give the disclaimer, it is natural and healthy to have expectations and standards. I believe that God shows us what those are and even pushes past some limits we may have on ourselves. But, when you have just started a new job and don’t know all the office lingo for the new company for the first month, well you are a little extra. At least that is what I told myself. Eager and excited are great, unhealthy expectations will give you an ulcer.

So how did I begin to give myself grace? One way that I did that was I continuously remind myself that I haven’t lived in Seattle that long, and some things take time. You have to learn how to celebrate the little victories like not needing the GPS to drive home. You must relearn how to speak of yourself. If you make a mistake, instead of saying you were stupid, state the facts, “you know what, I messed up. I missed a step; next time, I will slow down and not be in a rush.” We have to start using the words that God speaks over and about us. As we begin to do this and walk-in grace towards ourselves, we will feel the spring of unmerited favor from God begin to flow, in our lives. 

Pause and Reflect:

1. Take some time to listen to how you speak of yourself. Write down some of the things you say about yourself when you make a mistake. 

    2.  What are some expectations you have that could possibly be unhealthy, given your current circumstances?